"Look well into thyself"

Fortitude and patience. These are not qualities any four year old, including Rohan, posseses in great abundance. Yet fortitude and patience are exactly what I hope will be bestowed upon him now. In these few short weeks, I have puzzled over how he will get through the next few years without a strength of mind that many of us have never been required to have throughout our adult lives. I see him even now trying to summon his resolve when it is time to take his medications. He cries and says "you know I don't like it," but keeps his eye on the syringe the whole time. After what seems like an eternity, he points to it and signals that he'll have it now. In that moment I see a glimmer of the reserves of courage he already has to draw upon, and reminds me every time of a quote by Marcus Aurelius:

"Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always
spring up if thou wilt always look there."

Patience on the other hand is a bit handicapped at the moment. The effects of the medications hinder the nurturing of an even-keeled manner. Besides, if he takes after me, he may always be a bit lacking in patience!

On a more clinical note, we've had some good news. Rohan is responding well to the chemo, and the doctors say we can be hopeful that he will be where he needs to be by the end of the month. Clearing even a little hurdle makes a difference. Also, we went to the hospital this morning to see if Rohan would need platelets or blood, and he didn't because his numbers are going up on their own. Not only was this good, but overall the whole trip was as pleasant as it could be for Rohan. He smiled and talked to the nurses and doctors. This was a first.

Tomorrow is Arya's first birthday, and we have yet to figure out how to make it special. Rohan says "Get a cake with ice-cream and cookies, and I'll give her that fire truck for her present." Who can argue with cookies, cake and ice-cream? A hand me down fire truck? Good thing she's too young to know or care!